Making Mom Happy

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After Mason was born I heard a lot of people say that if I am happy the family will be happy. I did not quite understand that until Mason was roughly three weeks old. I started breastfeeding Mason in the hospital and was trying my hardest to continue with it. I started pumping less than two weeks after he was born so Tim could feed him or I could leave him with someone for a couple of hours (I had a few work things to go to the second week).

Typical outfit after Mason was born - Sleep bra & a cami (look how tiny he  was!)

To me breastfeeding was messy and time consuming. I was constantly covered in milk and Mason smelled like sour milk most of the time. It turns out that the messy part might have been due to the tongue tie that Mason had, it prevented him from latching properly.  I felt like I could get nothing done because he would take an hour or more to eat. I did not like being half naked most of the day, I was always worried someone would stop in unannounced and I would not be dressed properly. I also felt like I was the sole provider for Mason. There were times that I just wanted a break or I wanted to sleep through one of the feedings and have Tim do it. I did not like feeling like I was the main supplier. Why did I breastfeed for three weeks if I really did not like it? I felt like I was under a lot of pressure to breast feed. There is a lot of pressure put on new moms to breast feed exclusively for the first 6 months. I know that breast milk has a wide range of benefits, but I can give Mason breast milk without actually breastfeeding.

I started pumping five times a day and I was getting enough milk for Mason’s meals. I do not even remember how it happened but all of a sudden I realized that I had not actually breastfed Mason in a few days. I also realized that I was feeling less stressed than I had been.

When Mason was four weeks old we started to introduce formula. I was producing enough milk for his feedings on most days, but there were days I would be short. When I started giving him a bottle of formula a day I felt even less stressed. before formula I felt like I was under a lot of pressure to produce enough milk for him all the time.  He was taking formula great and I did not have to worry if he would be hungry if he went somewhere and there was not enough milk.

As a new mom I struggled with myself for a long time trying to figure out what to do about breastfeeding and formula. I felt like I was expected to do it all and if I couldn't I was not a good mom. I could not believe the pressure I felt to do things a certain way. When I started doing things that made more sense for our lives I was much happier. I am in a better mood now and I have not had a breakdown in a while.

For the new moms out there – It is true that if you are not happy your family will not be happy either! You have to take care of yourself first and then you can effectively take care of your child and have a solid relationship with your significant other. 
Thank you for reading, this was very personal for me to share, but I hope it can help other new moms out there feel better about their choices.